What's Up Buttercup?
What's Up Buttercup?
A few days ago I heard someone mention that by January 12th the majority of the population who got themselves all worked up and followed the crowd by making a New Year’s Resolution have, in less than two weeks, blown those resolutions 😳
Are you a resolution maker?
Do you get caught up in the hype and make a New Year’s Resolution?
If you do, have you broken it already?
Now don’t get me wrong (and don't let your Anxiety tell you that I am shaming you 😝). I get how easy it is to get caught up in this seemingly harmless yearly tradition!
Identifying old habits that are not working for us and committing to make changes is top shelf shit 👊
However, most of us go about making those changes at the “wrong” time and in the “wrong” way 🤔 (yes, I put the word "wrong" in quotes because I do not believe in right/wrong AND I got your attention, yes?)
For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere at least, this time of year (Winter) is a time of slowing down, reflecting, and hibernating.
Why would we expect ourselves to commit to a daunting new exercise regimen or have the willpower to go from stuffing our faces with Christmas cookies to allowing them to sit on the counter for more than five minutes🙄
The other thing that I noticed in December was all of the business folks yammering about how they were doing all this planning for the new year. 😩
They were all like, “Buy this complicated planner, and then plan your whole year out to the most minute detail, and then turn around sixteen times, stand on your head, and now you will have a successful year in business" 😬
Yeah, there was this thing called Christmas barreling down on me (oh and my daughter’s birthday just before it) so I was kind of focused on those important family commitments 😳
Why do we insist on taking a time of year when we can so easily be stressed out dealing with commitments and obligations and decide to judge ourselves as not good enough so we have to resolve to better ourselves all the while knowing, on some level, that we are just setting ourselves up for “failure” and self flagellation?
Yeah, so while you may well have forgotten this by next year (unless you write it in your fancy planner and are still looking at it next December 😉) I’m going to advocate that we focus on reflection and self care during the Holidays and then calmly and with curiosity look forward to that bright and shiny New Year with excitement rather than the dread of “fixing” ourselves.
While I did work and did do some amount of planning (like buying the simplest planner I could find with the best cover quote I could find), it is actually the first few weeks of January when I get my best planning and goal setting for the year done 🙌
January is historically more “quiet” and I embrace the quiet, do my best say “no” to too many social obligations, and take every chance I get to hibernate.
It is during this quiet hibernation time that my best ideas make themselves known. This is when I can start to discern which of my amazing ideas will get the attention and focus that it deserves.
How do I do this magical and elusive “planning” thing?
By being less caught up in the goals (to grow my business) and more focused on the incremental steps I can take toward that goal (talk about my business offerings in person or email or on social media one time each day, spend 15 minutes each day taming my email inbox).
James Clear’s “Atomic Habits” points out that it is the daily 1% incremental changes that support us in making our way, one step at a time, toward our bigger goals.
This explains why resolutions “fail” 🧐
It is because we don’t put the habits into place to support ourselves in actually taking the steps from where we are to where we aspire to be.
For those of us with a very loud VOD (voice of doubt) it can be overwhelming to have so many sources of pressure to set specific goals, use a specific planner, or even to make a resolution.
We get caught up in what everyone else is doing, or using, or telling us we “should” be doing that we lose our Connection to our own Inner Guidance system 😔
Our Anxiety loves to convince us that it is in charge and then get us lost in the spinning wheel of indecision, making choices based on obligation, perceived failure, self judgement, and just that overall sucky feeling of stuckness (which is not a word AND I am using it anyway because I am the boss of me 😜).
Your turn ...
How are you going to talk back to your VOD and cut through your cloud of overwhelm and choose one incremental step to move toward your goal this year?
Shoot me and email (click here) and share your One Thing 🙌
I’m eternally curious AND I answer every email 😘