Hey if you haven’t noticed, 2018 is about to take it’s leave and 2019 is crouched and ready to take its place 🥳

With all of the “shoulds” being flung around out there (picking your word for the year, making resolutions, setting goals, taking down your decorations, eating all of the leftovers, losing weight, and any other thing someone out there is shouting that you “should” be doing) it is easy to fall down the rabbit hole of overwhelm!

I, on the other hand, spent the week seeing how long I could go without showering or knowing what day of the week it was 😳

Yeah, I could be “trying” to see clients (nope, learned my first year that while clients have “good intentions” when they make appointments between Christmas and New Year’s that it gets shot to hell and they cancel or no show, so no client appointments that week, I just build that into the calendar every year 🙌) or frantically “planning” for 2019 AND I have chosen to take the week to decompress, enjoy family time, read, watch movies, eat (a lot 😳), and paint my bathroom.

Now, don’t misunderstand, I have worked in time to do some work and planning for my business.  I just did it with intention rather than feeling some external pressure from something that I read on the internet about what I “should” be doing right now. 

You see, I figured out pretty quickly that when I let someone else be the boss of me I was really letting my Anxiety, Worry, and VOD (Voice of Doubt) be in charge. 

Any time I hear about or read something that someone else says I “should” be doing, I stop being the CEO of my business and let Anxiety, Worry, and VOD take the reins. 

Guess what? Anxiety, Worry, and VOD are not very good Leaders.  Interestingly, they do make good employees, managers, and even advisors (once you know how to train them to be your super powers), just not good Leaders!

Now you can try to run your business with managers, employees, and even advisors, but it won’t be successful unless you have a clear Leader who actually knows how to Lead!

So how does one go from letting VOD be the CEO to being the type of Boss you might have actually stayed at a salaried job for? 

You know, a real Leader Boss? 
(That is why you left a soul sucking job, or are deep into the fantasy about doing so, right?  To be your own boss? 👊)

Why would you be a Boss that sucks? 

Think about that. 
We work hard to step into the arena and become our own boss, and then we just let Anxiety, Worry, and our VOD run the show…WTF? 

That’s fucking crazy and yet, it’s exactly what so many of us do 😳

I did it early on (and still have my moments when they attempt a mutiny and take over 😳).  

What did that look like? 

• Trying to be all things to all people  

• Taking every client who called or emailed
• Saying “yes” when clients wanted times outside of what worked for me and my family
• Spending money and time on lots of trainings, books, and workshops
• Falling for all of the promises of ways to fill my caseload quickly and easily or build my business using “these 3 guaranteed” tips or whatever 🙄

Yeah, it wasn’t exactly pretty or, in the end, productive 😩

You know what actually worked to move forward in my business?  

Taking one step at a time 👣

What did that look like?

• Deciding on my “Why” for doing what I do and who my ideal clients were
• Giving non-ideal clients referrals to better suited counselors
• Saying, “I don’t have that time available, would this time work instead?"
• Saving my time and money by being very intentional in which workshops and books and other resources I invested in (while I love Terry Real, I don’t work with couples, so no Terry Real workshops for me!)
• Waking up and realizing that there are no short cuts or guarantees, and then just staying focused on using what I already knew and learning from my greatest teachers: my clients 

Now that may seem obvious or even simple AND it’s not.

I hope you know by now that I don’t sugar coat and I don’t lie, I just cuss a lot 😜

Ever day I wake up and recommit to being the Boss that I want to be for myself.  
I remind myself of my “Why” I do what I do and then I get on about doing it. 
I make mistakes and I do my best to learn from them and see them as opportunities. 
I don’t quit, no matter how scary or shitty the situation, I keep going. 
I might pause for a moment to cry, cuss, or catch my breath, AND I get back off and get back to kicking ass as soon as I can. Oh, and I throw in some compassion for myself once in awhile too 😉

Who are you?

Over the past week or so I have been making posts on FB asking what appear to be simple questions: 

• Do you find yourself asking Permission or Forgiveness?
• Do you prefer to Bake of Cook?
• Introverted or Extroverted?
• HSP or What the Fuck is a HSP 😂?

Now those may seem like simple questions AND if you know me at all, you know that I tend to be a shitstirer (is that even a word 🤔). 

Who the fuck only wants two choices for answers?  Not me!  (Not to go down the rabbit hole of politics and shit, but look what only having two choices got us in the last Presidential Election 🤮)

When we ask for permission or forgiveness we are giving our power over to others. 

No one else has your answers.  

You can ask for advice from those you trust and you can do a mea culpa if something you are doing breaks a rule and you get caught, but being a Leader Boss in your Business means making your own decisions and dealing with the consequences of those decisions. 

I didn’t realize how often I was saying “sorry” until my daughter started saying it regularly 🤦‍♀️ 

While I have taken the stand in the past that it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission (we got married on a mountain where we found out 2 weeks before the date that we were supposed to “get permission” and make a donation….we made the donation after the fact, but I was not going to be told “no” for some random reason, so we just didn’t ask! I had my “oops” speech all ready 😜), I put a disclaimer on that when it comes to randomly saying “Sorry” for shit that we have no control over.
 
What we really mean to say is “I feel empathy for you right now” 😔

What do you think might happen if we all started saying that instead? 🤔

Baking tends to be more about following the rules while cooking allows for more flexibility if you want to go off the recipe. 

Leaders have to know how to do both. 

Once you know the “rules” in baking you can go rogue and make substitutions, but you have to be willing to deal with the consequences.
 
Cooking inherently allows for more creativity AND you still have to know that substituting the same amount of cayenne pepper for chili powder is going to end rather explosively 💥

Introverted or Extroverted (and the follow up HSP question 😜)?  

Well now, that’s just all about how important it is to know yourself and to work with your strengths.
 
Both Extroverts and Introverts and Highly Sensitive People can make great leaders as long as they are being authentic to themselves and not “trying” to be someone they are not. 

Know yourself, know your peeps (clients and customers), and you will figure out how to use your personality and sensitivities as super powers 🙌

So what’s it gonna be?  

Are you going to Bust into 2019 committed to being the Best Boss you can be for yourself?
 
Even if you aren’t currently in a position to be your own boss at work, you can start practicing being your own boss at home by demoting your doubt and getting to know your super powers 🤩 

Just take it one step at a time….😘

Keeping it a simple as possible is great in theory AND can be hard to do in our current reality 😩
As a means of leading by example, I am going to keep this email short and (hopefully) sweet 😘
This holiday season I have worked on taking it one step at a time 👣. 
You see, not only do we have Christmas to gear up for this time of year, but I went and had a baby 6 days before Christmas, just because having one celebration in December wasn't enough 🙄
Anxiety and my VOD (Voice of Doubt) can get all up inside of my head, especially this time of year AND we have had lots of productive conversations like:
VOD: "Your (home) office is a fucking wreck!  There is shit laying everywhere. You are so disorganized and you are going to fuck something up!"
Me: "Hey, thanks for pointing out that it would be a great idea for me to put an hour on my calendar  to sort through all of the boxes and bags and check to see if I have any last minute shopping to do. Oh, and so what if something get's missed.  No one is going to die!"
VOD: "There is way too much stuff coming into your house right now, you better start controlling, telling everyone what to do, and losing your shit so they know you are in charge!"
Me: "Ummm, yeah, no thanks.  I've done that before and it just fucks up my relationships.  Besides I have systems in place and ways to deal with all of the stuff. Oh, and I'm learning how to let the other people who live in the house manage their own stuff."
VOD: "If you take time off from work, it's all just going to fall apart. You don't have every last detail worked out for your workshop, your new online TCAK Mastermind, and everything else you are offering in 2019!"
Me: "Thanks so much for pointing all of that out 😜 You know I actually work better when I work smarter and take some time off.  It recharges me and I am way more creative when I slow down on occasion. Oh, and I have a couple of hours scheduled here and there throughout the Winter Break where I will get my creative on and be ready for some kick ass workshops and groups in 2019!" 🙌
VOD: "Damn, I got nothing left right now!"
Me: "No worries, it's been fun playing our game. I know you'll be back, and I'll be ready for you!" 😂


So  now that I've given you a glimpse into one of my favorite games with my VOD 🙄 I have a favor to ask of you....
On Friday I got a wild hair up my ass and posted what I thought was a simple question on my FB Page (what you don't follow me on FB?  Heres' the link: AuntieAnxiety The Compassionate AssKicker ) and what followed was an amazing conversation that let me know that the question was not as simple as I had intended 🤔
OK, so here is what I want from you: Email me and tell me your answer to this "simple" question (it would be like a really inexpensive Christmas Present from you to me)...
Are you more likely to ask for Permission or Forgiveness?
I am quite certain that there will be a blog post about this...so answer the question for me and then stay tuned 😘